The Great Wolves Are Crazy!
by Sanguinary
Summary: Merton talks Lori and Tommy into casting a spell with him that will bring them their true loves. (Note to self: Don't try any of Merton's spells) Slash.


TITLE: The Great Wolves Are Crazy!

AUTHOR: Sanguinary

CHALLENGE: I'm answering two challenges. LuneWolf's poem challenge and Slash challenge at Daisydrop's page. Go here to read them. 

DISCLAIMER: Don't own the BWOC characters.

COPYRIGHT: December 25, 2001

DISTRIBUTION: Ask and ye shall receive.

RATING: PG 13

CATEGORY: Romance, Comedy

FEEDBACK: Most excellent! Send it care of: Sanguinary_515@hotmail.com

SUMMARY: Merton talks Lori and Tommy into casting a spell with him that will bring them their true loves. (Note to self: Don't try any of Merton's spells) Slash. 

~~

"You're sure that this ritual needs three people?" Lori raised an eyebrow at Merton, "Cause I'm not totally sure that I want to do this."

"Please?" Merton begged, "I just want to see if it works! And besides, what's the worse it could do?"  


"What's the worse?" Lori said, "We're talking about saying a spell to find our 'true' love. We could get someone dead or worse!"

"Look, I've checked out this spell a hundred times," Merton picked up a book from the table where they were sitting, "There's been no backfires or mistakes. And everyone who has said it has been satisfied. And if it goes wrong, there is a way to reverse it."

"Well…" Lori looked almost ready to give in.

"And besides, aren't you just a little bit curious to find out who your true love is? I've already got Tommy on board. Please? Pretty please?"

"Fine," Lori sighed, "But if it doesn't work, I am going to kick your butt."

"Sounds reasonable to me." Merton smiled, "Now Tommy should be hear any…"  


"Merton," Tommy walked into the lair, "Is it just me or is your sister…"

"The ending of the sentence better not end with what I'm thinking you're about to end it with!" Merton jumped up and glared at Tommy.

"I was going to say strange!" Tommy tried to look innocent, "Really strange. I saw here eating a sandwich with pickle and peanut butter."

"Becky eats peanut butter with everything." Merton shrugged, "Don't ask me why. She's the 'normal' one."

"So," Tommy plopped down at the table, "Are we going to do this?"

"Just give me a moment," Merton walked over to his shelf and pulled down a jar filled with something brown, "I've got to get the ingredients together."

"So?" Lori leaned across the table towards Tommy, "Do you think that this'll work?"  
  
Looking to make sure that Merton wasn't listening, Tommy leaned forward and whispered, "When's the last time that one of Merton's spells worked properly?"

"I heard that!" Merton walked to the table with his arms full of stuff, "And I'll have you know that most of my spell work fine, thank you very much."

"If you consider backfiring and then producing something that wants to kill you as 'working fine' than sure," Tommy sniffed at the pile of ingredients. "What smells?"

"The yak bile," Merton picked up a jar filled with a runny yellow liquid, "But we won't be using this unless the spell backfires."

"So what are we using?" Lori picked up one of the jars and read the side, "Lamb's wool?"

"For your information lamb's wool is a very potent ingredient." Merton picked three white candles out of his pile and set one in front of each of them. "It stands for purity and innocence. And yes, we will be using it. Along with the dried rose petals, the ground cinnamon, the bunny hearts and werewolves hair."

"Bunny hearts?" Lori wrinkled her nose, "That's just… ew!"

"And where are you planning to get werewolves hair from?" Tommy glared at Merton.

"I already have some from when you were shedding." Merton held up a jar filled with brown hair, "As for the bunny hearts, if it makes you feel better the bunnies died in their sleep at an old age."

"Not really but I suppose that's better than the heart's of murdered bunnies."

Merton picked up the different ingredients and mixed them all together in a large wooden mixing bowl. Then he set the bowl in the centre of the table. Merton lit his candle and passed the lighter to Tommy, "Okay. Now light your candles."

Tommy and Lori lit their candles and turned to Merton. "So?"

"Reach in the bowl and sprinkle the powder over the flame of your candle while saying this." He passed two pieces of paper to Tommy and Lori. "We've got to say it at the same time though so on the count of three we begin."

"Wait!" Lori put a hand on Merton's shoulder, "How are we supposed to know if it works?"

"The candle flame with turn bright blue and whoever out true love is will appear behind us.

"And if this doesn't work?"

"Then we douse the candles in yak's bile until the flame goes out." Merton took a deep breath and took a hand full of powder out of the bowl. Lori and Tommy did the same. "Ready?" They nodded. "On the count of three. One, two, three!"

Tommy, Lori and Merton began to dump the powder over the flame while they chanted in union.

"I have need, Great Wolves. I ask your presence, and guidance. Great wolves, I petition you. Send to me, Great Wolves, a love that's true."

For a moment the candle flames remained yellow. But with a sudden whoosh, they turned blue.

Three simultaneous thumps were heard, followed by two "OW!"'s and one whimper.

Slowly, the trio turned around to see who their true loves were. And they all screamed.

"Vince?" Merton shouted, "What are you doing here?"  
  
"Sparky?" Tommy looked at the little hellhound, "I thought you were with your new master?"

"Gil!" Lori stared open mouth in surprise at the Evil Werewolf Syndicate's Receptionist. "What's going on here?"

"Um…" Merton looked at the other three, "I think something went wrong with the spell."  


"What spell?" Vince looked up at Merton and narrowed his eyes, "That last time Vince saw Merton, Merton had locked Vince back in that damned chest!"

"Whoa!" Merton held out his hand, "Last time I saw you, you were trying to kill me! What else was I going to do?"

"Um…" Gil looked up, "I'm just a teensy bit confused and would be eternally grateful if someone could tell what what's happening?"  
  
Sparky just whined.

~~

"And so the spell," Tommy glared at Merton and then continued, "Was meant to bring everyone's true loves to them. But, like usual, something went wrong."

"Look," Merton sighed, "I'm sorry but I'm sure that I did it right this time.."

"Let me see the spell," Gil reached for the spellbook, "I've got some experience with spells gone wrong."

"Since when does the Evil Werewolf Syndicate do any spells?" Lori raised an eyebrow at Gil.

"Well, a couple of months ago we tried to cast a spell to make Tommy turn evil." Gil cringed as Lori and Tommy both glared at him, "I didn't work. As it turns out, if you don't say it on the first full moon of the year, the spell causes every werewolf in a fifty-foot radius to turn into a child. It took us three weeks to find the right spell to turn us back. Dad was ticked right off. He kept stomping around the castle. Of course, when you're only three feet high, you can't stomp very well."

The three friends smiled at the mental image of the werewolf leader as a child. But they quickly shove aside in order to glare more at Merton.

Merton began to get defensive, "I checked everything over like a hundred times."

"Well maybe you should have checked things over once more," Lori looked about as unhappy as Tommy, "And why did I even let you talk me into this again?"

"Wait just a minute here you three," Gil smiled, "Maybe it wasn't all that bad? I've wanted to see Lori again but Dad wouldn't let me leave the castle."

"You wanted to see me?" Lori raised an eyebrow.

"Who wouldn't?" Gil smiled, "You were so powerful and destructive as a werewolf. I wondered what you must have been like as a human. You beat my father and he's been head wolf for almost thirty years."

"Really?" Lori seemed slightly pleased, "And I beat him?"  
  
"Sure did!" Gil said, "He was so angry afterwards! Storming around the castle, yelling at stuff at the top of his lungs! You should have been there, he was hilarious."

A sudden smash caught the attention of everyone. They looked over and saw Vince standing in a puddle of glowing goo. He smiled sheepishly, "Oops."

"Vince," Merton sighed and stood up, "You've got to stop breaking stuff." He walked over to the puddle of goo. Merton picked up another jar off of the shelf and sprinkled what was inside it over top the goo.

"Vince's sorry." He slumped on the floor beside Merton, "Vince didn't mean too."

"I know," Merton watched at the goo and the powder mixed together and turned into water, "But you might knock over something dangerous next time and then you'll be dead."

"And Merton too."

"Yes Merton too…" Merton paused and turned to look at Vince, "Why would you care if I'm dead or not? Last I checked, you hated me."

"Vince never hated Merton!"

Merton paused and gave Vince a look, "Then if you don't hate me, then why did you try and kill me?"

"Vince wasn't going to kill Merton. Just lock Merton up in the chest until Merton stopped acting so mean to Vince."

"What?" Merton touched Vince's shoulder, "I wasn't being mean?"  
  
"Yes you were," Vince pushed Merton's hand away, "Vince came back and wanted to be friends but Merton wouldn't let Vince do that. Merton kept telling Vince to get lost."

"I…" Merton paused. Vince was right. Merton had been telling Vince to go away. It had never occurred to Merton that maybe he was being cruel. "You're right."

"Guys?" Everyone looked over at Tommy. "I think Sparky needs to go for a walk."

The Hellhound in question was pacing by the door, whimpering softy. He bared once and then scratched at the door.

"Go on." Merton made a shooing gesture, "I don't want him to piddle on my carpet."

"Come on boy," Tommy opened the door and followed Sparky up the stairs, "I know a clump of trees that have the most interesting smells."

"And I better call my Dad." Gil stood up, "Mom will be worried sick by now. She hates it when I disappear and don't tell them. Do you have a phone I could borrow?"

"There's one upstairs." Merton sat beside Vince, "Lori? Could you show him where it is?"

"Sure." She stood up and walked towards the door.

"Oh and keep out of Becky's way."

"No problem." Gil and Lori disappeared up the stairs, leaving the door ajar. Merton stood up and walked over to the door.

"Merton?" Vince got to his feet, "Where are you going?"

"No where." Merton shut the door and turned to face Vince, "I was just shutting the door."

"Oh." Vince turned his attention back to the shelf full of magic powders. "Merton?"

"Yes Vince?" Merton was starting to get irritated with all of Vince's questions. "What do you want to know?"

"What did Vince do wrong?"

"What?"

"What did Vince do wrong?" Vince turned to face Merton. "Did Vince not love Merton enough? Or was Vince not fun enough? Should Vince have tried harder to get out of the chest? Or should Vince have disappeared forever?"

"Vince…" Merton sighed and sat down at the table. "You didn't do anything wrong. It's just… I grew up. And you stayed the same."

Vince walked over to the table and sat beside Merton. "Merton didn't! Merton still has the same eyes and the same sense of humour. You're skin is as smooth as ever and your hair does the same floppy thing when you're asleep. Merton didn't change, you just think you did."

"You're not listening to me Vince," Merton said, "When I was a kid I needed someone to be friends with. And now I have Tommy and Lori for that. I don't need you in the same way."

Vince looked like he was going to cry for a moment but suddenly his face lit up. "Merton's right! Vince knows what Merton needs Vince for!"

Merton started to ask what Vince knew when he suddenly found Vince's lips pressed against his own.

~~

"Here we go Sparky," Tommy stopped in front of a grove of trees. "The best place in Pleasantville." He leaned up against a tree and smelt the warm summer air.

Sparky whined softly. "Hmm? Sorry Sparky." Tommy stood up straight and walked away from the tree. "Don't worry, I won't watch."

While Sparky did his business, Tommy whistled softly and stared at the sky. "Let's see… there's the little dipper. And… there's the big dipper."

Sparky trotted over to Tommy and leaned against Tommy's leg.

"Hey Sparky, do you see the bright star up there? It's called Sirius. It means 'the dog star'."

"Desum te." Tommy turned to look at the dog. "Desum te." He repeated.

"Desum te?" Tommy thought for a moment. He had started to learn Latin after he had adopted Sparky but he was rusty at it. "Um… te means you. And desum… miss. Miss you?"

Sparky nodded. Tommy knelt down beside Sparky and hugged him, "Me too. I wish that I had never had to give you up. If Dean's 'allergies' hadn't started up, we may have been able to say together. That reminds me, we should get you back to your new owner. They're probably worrying their heads off."

Tommy went to stand up but Sparky knocked him over. Tommy landed on his butt with an oomph. Tommy wolfed-out and glared at Sparky. "What was that for?" Sparky whined and sat in front of Tommy. "I don't want you to go either. But you have to."

"Quod mihi amor to!" Sparky spoke softly and then licked Tommy's face. "Quod mihi amor to!"

"Um… could you say that again?"

"Quod mihi amor to." Sparky licked Tommy on the lips.

"Quod… is but. Mihi is me and to is you so amor is…" Tommy paused as he made the final connection. "But me love you?"

Sparky nodded and nuzzled against Tommy.

~  
  
"Mom! I'm perfectly okay!" Gil shouted into the telephone, "What? I can't hear you? Yes! Just tell Dad to stop howling! Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Okay. Buh-bye." Gil hung up the phone and looked at Lori, who was trying her hardest not to laugh.

"So?"

"They want me to pick up some anti-flea spray on the way home. Turns out Dad accidentally knocked over John's flea circus and now he's itching all over."

Lori lost her composure and burst into laughter. "Fleas?"

Gil nodded, "I don't know why John ever bought them but we've been placing bets on how long it would take Dad to knock them over." Gil smiled, "I won."

"What did you win?"

"10 boxes of doggie treats."

"And why wasn't I included in this pool when I was a werewolf?"

"Mainly cause you were with Dad for most of the time. I didn't get a chance to talk to you alone for the whole night." He turned and looked at her, "Do you remember that night?"

"Not really. Mainly just bits and pieces. I remember you."

Gil blushed with pleasure. "I didn't think you would. I mean you seemed mostly annoyed at me."

"Well werewolf-me wasn't exactly pleasant to anyone." Lori stopped, "I never apologized for throwing you around."

"That's alright." Gil shrugged good-naturedly, "You were an Alpha. I'm just a Beta."

"What's the difference between an Alpha and a Beta?"

"An Alpha can make other werewolves. They're also usually the leader of the pack. A Beta can't make other werewolves. They're usually weaker than the Alpha and are submissive. Any werewolf born of two Betas will be almost on par with humans. " Gil smiled weakly, "Mom and Dad are both Betas so…"

"That's not right," Lori frowned, "You didn't even get a chance to be normal!"

Gil shrugged, "It's okay. I've gotten used to being weaker than the other werewolves. And it helps that my Dad is… was the leader. I have protection from evil because I'm the only Purebreed they have."

"Purebreed? What's that?

"A Purebreed is a werewolf who is born a werewolf instead of being bitten. If an Alpha and an Alpha have a child, it will be stronger than any ordinary human. But when a Beta and a Beta have a child, they're weaker. But Purebreeds, even weak ones like me, are needed."

"Is it necessary to have Purebreeds?"

"Yes. Most of the rituals call for blood from a Purebreed in order for them to work. Also, pack rules state that a Purebreed must be present for all meetings and initiations. Otherwise, everything is null and void."

"Wow," Lori raised an eyebrow, "What would happen if you didn't come back?"

"They wouldn't be able to do anything until another Purebreed arrived." Gil smiled, "I've though of leaving a few time, being as we're not evil werewolves anymore. But Dad's obsessed with being evil. I don't see the point. All it does is cause pain. But… if we weren't evil, I would have never met you so it's not such a bad thing."

"You actually like me?" Lori was a little surprised. She knew that she wasn't ugly but… most guys thought that she was too violent and aggressive. She had liked Tommy but they were too much alike to be a good couple.

Gil nodded. "Who wouldn't?"

"You'd be surprised how many guys don't."

"Why not?" Gil looked genuinely shocked, "You're smart and beautiful, you're a great Alpha and you have really good fighting skills."

"Most guys don't go for that sort of thing," Lori sighed and sat in the hallway. Gil sat down beside her. "They always tell me I should be more girly and stop trying to control everything."

"But that's what you're made for." Gil touched Lori's hand, "Alpha's aren't made, and they are born that way. And you're one of the best Alpha's I've ever known."

"You think so?"

"I don't think." Gil leaned towards Lori and whispered into her ear, "I know."

And then he kissed her.

~

Merton shoved Vince backwards. "Ahh! What was that for?"

Vince's chair fell backwards and hit the ground, sending both the chair and Vince crashing to the floor. Merton jumped up and ran to the other side of the Lair.

"Ow!" Vince rubbed his head, "Why did Merton do that?"

"Hey! Don't change the subject! Why the heck did you kiss me?"

"Vince thought Vince understood what Merton wanted," Vince sat up and rolled of the pieces of the broken chair, "Merton doesn't want Vince for a friend."

"I didn't say that. I said I didn't need you as a friend. You're a perfectly good friend but I already have friends."

"Vince gets that. So, Merton doesn't need more friends, he already has parents and a sister." Vince stood up, "So obviously, what Merton needs is …"

"Don't say it!" Merton back-pedalled quickly, "Don't even think it! Put it right out of your mind!"

"But Merton…"

"What did I say about not thinking it? Now…"

"Look out!" Vince shouted but it was too late. Merton slammed into the shelf filled with assorted spell ingredients. The glass jars fell onto the floor and shattered open. Merton's eyes widened as he realized that he was standing in a pool of dragon's blood that was about to mix with some tiger saliva, both of which were powerful explosives. He closed his eyes and waited for the bang.

Something large and heavy slammed into Merton, knocking him out of the pool, just before it exploded into purple flames. They shot to the other side of the room and slammed against the wall. Merton hit the ground first and then something heavy landed on top of him.

Merton moaned in pain as he opened his eyes. He found himself staring into Vince's green eyes. Merton's mouth went dry and his palms started to sweat.

"Um…" Merton swallowed nervously, "Thanks."

Vince just looked into Merton's eyes. Merton couldn't believe that he had never notices just how green Vince's eyes were. "Sorry." Vince whispered and began to sit up.

Merton suddenly came to a decision. He reached up and caught Vince's head with his hands. Gently he raised his head to Vince's and presses their lips together.

As their lips connected, a shiver ran up and down Merton's spine. Vince's lips felt soft as silk against his own. It felt right even though it went against everything that Merton had ever believed to be right.

As Vince broke the contact, Merton moaned. "Merton?" Vince whispered, "Are you sure?"

Merton slid one hand up and slid his fingers though Vince's hair. "What does it feel like?"

"But Vince thought that Merton wanted Vince to forget about it?"

"Merton was wrong." He pulled Vince in for another kiss. Vince shifted his weight so he was straddling Merton and he began to plant kisses along Merton's face. "I was very wrong."

"Yes Merton was," Vince smiled and kissed the top of Merton's nose, "But Vince thinks that this is right."

"So do I." Said Merton. And then Vince silenced him.

~

"Sparky?" Tommy looked at the black hellhound, "Why didn't you tell me before?"

The dog whimpered and looked ashamed. "Nec teneo quam."

It took Tommy a moment to figure out that Sparky had said 'Not know how', "Well…" Tommy sighed and rubbed Spark's head, "I don't know what to say. I never even considered that you might feel that way. I… I'm surprised."

  
Sparky got up and began to run away from Tommy. Tommy, seeing what Sparky was doing, stood up and ran after Sparky. "Come back!"

He stopped and looked at Tommy. "I don't want you to go."

Sparky cocked his head in a questioning manner.

"I said I was surprised." Tommy knelt down beside Sparky, "Not that it was wrong… just different." He smiled.

Sparky barked happily and tackled Tommy. Tommy began laughing as Sparky licked Tommy's face.

~

Lori started in shock at Gil as he broke the kiss. "What…?"

Gil blushed and stood up, "Sorry. I shouldn't have done that. I'll go now. Sorry, I got…"

Lori stood up and grabbed Gil's shoulder, stopping him. "I didn't say go, Gil. I just want to know…"

Gil paused; half-afraid of what Lori's question would be, "Yes?"

"How long have you felt like this?"

"Since I first saw you." Lori pulled Gil close to her and put her forehead against his.

"I guess I have some catching up to do then." She smiled and kissed him.

~

"Guys?" Tommy ran into the Lair, Sparky at his side, "I don't want to reverse the spell."

"You don't?" Lori, Merton, Gil and Vince were already sitting around the table. Merton smiled in relief, "We'll that works out well."

"It does?" Tommy was a little surprised, "I was sure that you guys wouldn't to have Vince and Gil stay?'

Lori smiled and kissed Gil on the cheek, "Sometimes things change."

"What about you Merton?"

Merton smiled secretively, "I think that Vince will be staying for a little bit. Or maybe longer…?" Vince draped his arm around Merton's shoulder and grinned.

"You're your sure that you want to keep Sparky?" Lori asked, "Your brother's allergies started acting up last time that you Sparky."

"Let's just say that if Dean wants to keep the TV remote, he won't be complaining about his "allergies"." Tommy smiled evilly and patted Sparky on the head.

Sparky barked happily and trotted over to the table with Tommy following him. Tommy sat at the table and looked at the three candles that were still burning. "What do we do about them?"

"Just let them burn out." Gil pulled Lori onto his lap and wrapped his arms around her. "When the flame dies on its own instead of being extinguished, it will make the spell permanent.

"That's good." Tommy scratched the top of Sparky's head and looked at his friends, "I think that this the first time that one of your spells has turned out right."

"So… if I decided to try another one…?" Merton ducked the books that Lori and Tommy threw at him, "Vince! Make them stop!"

"Not just yet little buddy," Vince ruffled Merton's hair, "Vince thinks that they have the right idea."

"But you're supposed to be on my side?" Merton pleaded with puppy-dog eyes, "Please?"

Vince just laughed as the candles dimmed and died.

~End~ 


End file.
